So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
