cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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