I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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