ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
