This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
