just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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