you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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