Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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