Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
