i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
