did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I love having hate sex.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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