The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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