listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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