my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
