So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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