So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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