I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
