Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
