i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
