I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
