so that wasnt chicken after all
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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