I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
