Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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