so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
