he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
