This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
