I am puke
they need to just BURY HIM!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You pole danced in your parka.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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