Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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