Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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