I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
