i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
