it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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