:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize