i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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