He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
