Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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