some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
