eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
