That's intense
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
