oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
