Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
