Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
