brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Randomize
