Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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