That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
