I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
