Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
