he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
