oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
