I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
