your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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