chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize