Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
