There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
