So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
