I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
