i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
