and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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