ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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