You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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