Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
