I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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